When Was Your Last Vacation? A Real, Two Week or Longer Get Away?
Recently I was challenged by a dear friend and guide Dr. Sinead Flanagan www.sineadflanagan.com to go on a true get away vacation. The thought of it brought the gears in my mind to a screeching halt. I had 37 reasons why I couldn’t possibly take a vacation just now:
Always looking for it outside yourself.
In that person, or that one, with the cool new shoes.
That celeb – uh oh, there they go to rehab, maybe not them after all.
Maybe in a pill bottle?
Maybe Prozac, maybe Klonopin?
I hear something new called Abilify is all the rage. Will that make me wise and hip and sage?
Maybe meditation and yoga and prayer?
Will God come calling if I quiet the rage?
Wisdom, where is it? I need it, I want it.
You look like you have it – won’t you give it?
I’m lost, I want to know,
How you look, so hip, slick, and cool.
What do you mean, that you’re lost too?
What do you mean that I have the answer?
I don’t, I don’t.
Don’t you dare make me see – that I had any answers, the whole time, inside of me.
http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Elizabeth-Gilbert-Talk-from-O-Magazines-10th-Anniversary-Video
On rare occasions, someone – regardless of what they may actually ‘do’ in their career – does whatever they ‘do’ with such unabashed authenticity and complete engagement that it takes my breath away. Sometimes this is an athlete performing their sport, other times a businessperson explaining why their product may transform the world.
One such young woman is Sarah Kay. Her book of poetry was just published this week by the Domino Project (Seth Godin strikes again www.sethgodin.com). Sarah doesn’t only write her poetry, she performs it. And her performance at the recent TED talks in Long Beach, CA stunned me in a way I had not had the pleasure of being stunned in a long time. http://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_kay_if_i_should_have_a_daughter.html
I’ve played it for my own daughters, played it for my female patients, tried to play it for my husband, (he was less interested).
Although Sarah Kay is a tremendous poet, performer and teacher (www.project-voice.net) I think perhaps her greatest achienvement may be the intensity of her connection with self, her unapologetic authenticity. No self-deprecation for Ms. Kay, she know what Marianne Williamson and Nelson Mandela have been urging us on about for years now: our greatest fear is that We Are Powerful Beyond Measure. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdwEDyBQcCc&feature=fvst)
How close are you to that no apologies, powerful person residing inside of you?
Yes, you!
Dr. Shari
Personality Archetypes and Healing Life Blueprints
We’ve all got archetypes, (personality blueprints), a whole lot of them in fact - with 3 or 4 running our personal show at any given time in our life. Mine happen to be my “scholar” and my “entrepreneur.” While these particular archetypes have made for rather successful and serious business endeavors, it’s never added up to much fun. Recently I’ve received guidance to let my “playful child” out a bit to roam and have fun. Now readers, you must understand, I don’t have a clue what a “playful child” would do. My idea of even exercising was was competing in the Olympic Trials for bicycle racing in 1992 and 1996. No beach cruisers for this Type A gal!
But being the obedient student I try to be, I meditated (of course) on what a playful child might do. I envisioned myself meandering around lakes and streams with my dog Sunshine (not going on a vigorous hike) and splashing and playing with her and letting her off of her leash. So early this morning in the cool crisp morning air, Sunshine and I set out to see if I even have a playful child (I had serious doubts). After 45 minutes of marching dutifully on horsetrails near my home, Sunshine found a lovely little stream and literally beckoned me to join her – which I did! For the next good while we chased one another up and down this shallow stream, tripping over twigs and getting thoroughly filthy. It was more fun that I’ve had a in ages.
When I returned home my husband took one look at me and said, much to my surprise, “My God, you look beautiful, where have you been?” Beautiful? I had twigs and dirt in my hair and only God knows what smeared all over my clothes.
Perhaps you have a Playful Child who would like to come out and play? Or a Scholar who would like to write a book… Which archeypes are running your show?
Thoughts Move & Create Your World. What Are Your Thoughts Creating?
I recently left a company I adored and where I was very well compensated. Why in the world would I do such a foolish thing. And in this economy, no less?
The truth was that despite how much I believed in the mission of this company www.promises.com and idolized my boss, Dr. David Sack, my role in the organization didn’t allow me to spend enough time with my family. The job duties also required that I spend a great deal of time managing people as opposed to doing what I love best – caring for people.
So with a lot of strategic support and targeted guidance www.lindalandon.com I began to envision a plan that culminated in my current company. Today I earn , 90 days after leaving Promises, more than what I earned in my “safe” job, in 1/3 less time.
In order to do this, it required not only creating a crystal clear vision of what I saw for the future, but turning down the volume on all of the negative energy swirling around all of us these days. Do you think anyone can launch a successful endeavor if they sit and watch the nightly news and listen to unemployment statistics? Or watch any television at all, for that matter?! Or are we better off designing a vision board of every aspect of our business that will make our hearts sing? You get my point.
You’re thoughts hold tremendous power. Channeling them into the tangible reality you can observe is not only doable – it is the absolute natural order of things. What are your thoughts creating?
I spend a good deal of time thinking about what people might find helpful, provocative or interesting these days as it relates to creation of blogposts. Today I spent some time with a friend who is determined to continue on her path of financial independence by getting another part-time job. She is completing a master’s degree in spiritual psychology and is already working quite hard. But few young people are quite as determined as this young woman. She is fearless in pursuit of her dreams and I only wish I had a job for her myself! So let me introduce Stephanie Tarolli and today I’ll leverage my media in the hopes of helping a friend. Won’t you help her too?
Please repost, retweet and diggit until we place Stephanie wherever the path shall next take her! Here she is:
Stephanie A. Tarollistephanietarolli@gmail.com(978) 257-2097 |
KEY SKILLS & ATTRIBUTES
WORK EXPERIENCE
2011-Current |
YogaWorks
|
2010-2011 |
Promises Treatment Center
|
2009-2010 |
Balboa Bay Club and Resort Newport Beach, CAValet/CashierResponsible
|
2008-2009 |
Bath & Body Works
|
2005 |
The Old Spaghetti Factory San Jose, CAServerSimultaneously
|
2002-2004 |
West Concord Dance Academy
|
2010-Current |
University of Santa Monica
|
2009-2010 |
Chapman University Orange, CA:GPA 3.97Bachelor of Arts in Psychology*Member
|
2004-2007 |
Santa Clara University Santa Clara, CA |
Are you Competing or Collaborating?
In every endeavor we have an opportunity to compete or collaborate. When filled with fear we compete to the bitter end – and bitter it often is. When we accept the fears we have as human and natural and not allow them to run us (as our lizard brain tries to run the show) we can relax into the process and allow an unfolding that will always be more successful, more profitable, more beautiful, than our fears would have us believe. Refer to competitors joyfully and share ideas openly.. Everybody wins. If you are jealously guarding your turf, I promise you, your turf will get smaller and smaller.
Are you competing or collaborating? The choice is yours.
Beautiful Girls & Deep Healing
Not long ago my beautiful and athletic 7 year old daughter came home and asked me why she was so much “bigger” than the rest of the girls her age. She is: about 4 inches taller than the rest of the boys and girls in her class. But of course this was not the “bigger” to which she was referring. As I tried to keep breathing, I realized that I had been waiting for this day for a very long time. What American mother of a young girl doesn’t one day expect to hear some sort of question or concern about body image?
In addition to cultural norms, my daughter has an added burden…three generations of women – mother, grand and great-grandmother behind her who all suffered with significant eating disorders. Therefore I have been determined to raise emotionally healthy and empowered daughters who feel great about themselves and their bodies.
Therefore, when I was able to resume normal breathing I asked my 7 year old girl what was on her mind. What came next blew my mind. the type of materials usually reserved for inpatient group therapy sessions “My legs touch each other, my legs look bad when I sit in a chair, my legs, etc etc.”
She asked to do more exercise and eat more vegetables. I told her that her eating habits were just fine (they are) and that with at least 3 hours per day already playing outdoors with friends and no television or video games in our home she was more than active enough. What I did do, though, was to immediately contact a dear friend who treats women with eating disorders and all sorts of emotional trauma. But she’s no ordinary therapist. Dr. Sinead Flanagan doesn’t treat people – she heals them. www.sineadflanagan.com
So the following Sunday off we went to Dr. Sinead’s office. Once there we all sat on the floor and Sinead taught my beautiful girl how to wrap herself with love and affirm “Mommy loves me, Daddy loves me, I am GORGEOUS, my legs are BEAUTIFUL.” while focusing on special points around her body.
To this day my beautiful girl practices her affirmations of self love all on her own and she has become radically self accepting. Coincidentally, she also revealed the young girl, Rachel, at her school who was calling her “fat” and telling her she need to “exercise more and eat more vegetables.”
If you have a beautiful girl who comes across a Rachel, as my daughter did, help her see how beautiful she really is. She doesn’t need more veggies, she needs you.
Addiction and Eating Disorder – Two Illnesses, Two Tribes?
After meeting with a young woman in consultation today, I’ll call her Rachel, who is struggling to stay sober from alcohol addiction and abstinent from bulimia (binge/purge cycle eating disorder) I was struck by the similarities she faces with each of her discreetly diagnosed conditions. Each of her “drugs” – alcohol and the binge/purge cycle – help her to manage uncomfortable feelings. And surpringly “uncomfortable” doesn’t just mean sad, scared or angry, it also includes happiness and joy – often foreign feelings for the alcoholic or eating disordered individual.
I’m thrilled that the shift toward trans-diagnostic treatment modalities are now available that effectively and simultaneously address both addiction and eating disorder behaviors as well as mood diorders of all kinds (anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress). Everything from Somatic Experiencing and EMDR (www.cuttingedgecounseling.com) to Neurofeedback (www.neurofeedbackpainrelief.com) are lowering the vulnerability to relapse by percentages never before seen in addiction and eating disorder research http://www.brainpaint.com/addiction_adhd.pdf .
Isn’t it about time we treat the whole of Rachel, and not her individual disorders?
Change Your World – Kill your Status Quo
Few people take a giant step back and view life from quite as unique an angle as do Seth Godin and Malcolm Gladwell. They are brilliant and clever. This is undoubtedly why they are two of the most sought after personalities today. When I read a piece by either Godin or Gladwell or watch one of their TED spots http://www.ted.com/talks/seth_godin_on_sliced_bread.html – what I find most compelling is their unabashed joy in sharing their truth. The status quo is dead for Gladwell and Godin. http://www.ted.com/talks/malcolm_gladwell_on_spaghetti_sauce.html and for those of us who tired years ago of network “news” and drive time radio, Gladwell and Godin herald an oasis of sanity in a world gone FOX “news” crazy.
It is corageous to stand and share a differing perspective. But once you begin to do so, the feeling is like none other. It is pure joy.
The status quo is dead. It always has been, but now it is safe for each and every one of us to hold the space in the knowing. For people like Gladwell and Godin, the current cultural “story” does not define their story.
So, kill your status quo:
start a company
home school your child
have a child (with or without a partner)
ride a bike to work – yes, you really can
lose a hundred pounds, if you need to
do whatever it is you are afraid to do (and that everyone is telling you can’t be done)
Change Your World – Kill your Status Quo.
